I’m applying for Social Security Disability, which feels strange to say because I spent years on the other side of the system. As a former employment counselor for people with disabilities, I helped clients manage their benefits and navigate the rules of SSDI. I know the process well. But when my doctor told me last spring that my primary limitations are walking and standing, and that my job was ending, I still didn’t think I could ever qualify. I kept asking myself, How can I really be disabled? I’m not sleeping 18 hours a day, I haven’t been hospitalized, and for so long I pushed through pain because that’s what living in New York City demands.
But the reality is different. I rely on my feet to take transit, walk from the subway to my apartment, go to interviews, and simply exist in daily life. And I’m discovering those basic tasks are no longer possible. Even in walking boots, I’m constantly forced to take cabs because the pain and exhaustion are too intense. The added weight of the boot, the strain of using a cane, it all compounds.
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When I visited Montréal recently, two days of what would be considered “normal walking” left me barely able to step down. I found myself walking only on my heel, unable to use the rest of my foot at all. That was the moment I fully realized how serious my physical limitations have become.
My doctors now say they’re not even sure what the exact long-term treatment should be. For now, the plan is simple pain-management injections until surgery becomes possible, but in the meantime, this drastically impacts my ability to walk, stand, interview, or commute.
On top of that, I still have severe dyslexia. This makes jobs that require heavy reading and writing, especially fast-paced documentation, extremely difficult, if not impossible, to sustain.
I reached out to vocational rehabilitation for help, and it became clear very quickly that they weren’t sure how to work with someone like me. Because I’m not OPWDD and don’t have cognitive limitations at an elementary level, I felt like they had no idea which services to offer. When I worked in the field, I served clients with advanced degrees as well as those with significant disabilities. I always assumed that if I ever needed VR services myself, there would be options for someone with both mobility limitations and a learning disability. I thought they’d have employer partnerships—customer service roles, modified tasks, supportive environments. Instead, I was met with, “I don’t know how to help you.”
So what am I supposed to do?
The jobs I am most qualified for, case management, disability services, and employment counseling, are jobs I can no longer physically perform. They require constant travel between office and field, walking up multiple flights of stairs in homes with no elevator, and carrying equipment. Even interviews pose challenges. One recent interview was at a group home only half a mile from my apartment. The manager was wonderful, the role was perfect, but the building had no elevator and required climbing three flights of stairs just to reach the office. I couldn’t do it.
I’m starting an Etsy store to bring in some income while I figure out next steps, and I’m also applying to graduate school. I’m genuinely excited about the Educational Technology program I found because it blends both sides of my experience, education and human services. I have years of experience helping people learn job tasks, including clients with disabilities who struggle with cognitive sequencing or real-world recognition. I can imagine developing digital tools that teach workplace skills, things like identifying products on shelves, reading labels, or practicing daily living tasks. I’ve had clients who could read words like “shampoo” but didn’t recognize brands or packaging. These are gaps technology could support in a structured, accessible way. I’d love to build training programs that help disabled or first-time workers strengthen those skills.
This program could lead to hybrid or remote roles—exactly what I need given my mobility issues, especially if the next two years involve frequent doctors’ appointments or eventual foot surgery. Honestly, going back to school feels like the best possible timing because working full-time simply isn’t realistic right now.
So that brings me here: applying for Social Security Disability. I’m hoping I qualify, and I’ll share what the process looks like because many adults, like me, become disabled gradually and suddenly find themselves facing limitations they never expected.
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